Note: This post was written almost 10 years ago. It will certainly contain spelling mistakes or typos. We intentionally leave them in this report. That’s how we wrote it back then. And that’s how we experienced those days during our world trip.
Ipoh is a city between Penang and the Cameron Highlands. For most tourists, the city is just an annoying transfer point where they’re shuffled from one bus to another. In terms of sightseeing, the city simply doesn’t have as much to offer as the Highlands, Georgetown, or Melaka. But what prompted us to visit this unassuming city? Now, after our visits to Penang and the Cameron Highlands, we didn’t want to immediately move on to the next tourist hotspot, but wanted to settle down for a week.
We’d read about the many cozy cafes in Ipoh, and there was supposed to be street art there like in Georgetown. The place seemed perfect for us to work in peace, take a leisurely stroll through the city, and simply unwind after such eventful days. But we hadn’t expected that we would have one of the greatest experiences of our trip in Ipoh…
We had, of course, booked our private accommodation through Airbnb again. Azizul, the owner of our accommodation, had offered to pick us up from the bus station. Strike! Looking at our luggage, we gladly accepted the offer. Ten minutes after we sent him a text message, he arrived. Azizul is 33 years old, but looks at least five years younger.
His casual, easygoing manner was more reminiscent of someone in his mid-twenties. Like all Malaysians, his skin has a healthy tan, he has short hair and a round face partially hidden under a three-day beard. His interest in simple architecture and stylish design was almost perfectly evident in his clothing.
Where are we? Welcome to Ipoh!
He greeted us with a very warm “Welcome to Ipoh.” I think everyone knows this feeling: You’ve never seen someone before, but after the first few words, you immediately feel a liking for them within seconds. While with some people, conversation was difficult, with others, words and laughter flowed freely. It was the same with Azizul. And so, it took less than half a drive before he asked us if we’d like to stop by his café later. We could also meet his wife, who was returning that day from a work trip to Saudi Arabia.
Bolle and I, of course, didn’t need much convincing. Quite the opposite. After he told us about the homemade waffles, pancakes, and the countless coffee varieties, it couldn’t come fast enough for the sweet tooth of both of us. We agreed to meet in the evening. He had some work to do, and we needed to catch up on an hour or two of sleep.
Later in the café, we were also warmly welcomed by his team. We treated ourselves to waffles, tea, coffee… The table was brimming with treats! Unfortunately, Azizul himself was busy (as it turns out, he always is), but we still enjoyed our time in his café. The drinks weren’t included on our bill. We were only charged a few meager rupees for the waffles.
Every attempt to pay for the drinks was politely declined. If you know the feeling of sympathy described above, you probably also know this “powerlessness” of not being able to do anything except politely say “thank you.” We had drunk a lot, experienced great hospitality, and now we were supposed to just say thank you and leave? For me personally, it was a totally unsatisfying feeling.
On our trip, however, we learned to accept this feeling. For some people, hospitality is actually still something natural; it fills them with joy. We truly encountered the friendliest and most honest people in Malaysia. At first, we couldn’t believe it. “Are they really that nice here? Or do they just want to sell us something?” No! They were always sincere, helpful, and genuine!
A little side story
On Chinese New Year, we were outside in our garden, chatting. Suddenly, someone set off countless firecrackers across the street. Naturally, we went to the street to see what was going on. Our neighbors were celebrating Chinese New Year with their children. We wished them all the best through the fence and sat back down. After a few minutes, we heard someone pushing open the gate to our house – the neighbors were passing by!
They actually brought us a few cans of soda and nuts, wanting us to share in their celebration! The man introduced us to his wife and two children, asking us beforehand where we were coming and what we had planned. It was a really nice conversation; the children were really shy but really cute! After a few minutes, the family said goodbye and wished us a nice time. Bolle and I just looked at each other in disbelief… How cool was that!? What an incredibly nice gesture!
Eating together with the family
But the hospitality continued. One evening, when Azizul brought us delicious waffles, he asked us if we’d like to accompany him and his wife to dinner at his parents’ house. Excuse me? Did he just invite us to his parents’ house? We naturally thought this was fantastic and didn’t hesitate for long before accepting. When do you ever get the chance to interact with locals like this? We were, of course, incredibly happy about this invitation! However, the closer the day drew, the more nervousness and uncertainty became apparent.
Like the majority (60%) of the Malaysian population, Azizul’s family is Muslim. Of course, we both knew something about this religion and culture, but we were still afraid of making one of the countless faux pas. I mean, generally speaking, who knows ALL the rules and customs of another religion? If you feel like this, please raise your hand! … Well, no one, I thought so :)!
We also had no idea what his family thought of us. We weren’t married, but we slept in the same bed. Bolle didn’t wear a headscarf and had a lip piercing. Are these absolute taboos, or not so bad? How conservative are his parents? These thoughts may sound completely exaggerated, but when you’re really in this situation, they just cross your mind. Ultimately, Bolle and I are fortunately not people who rack our brains forever. “Just wait and see, it won’t be so bad,” is often our motto.
As-Salamu alikum!
When the day finally arrived, we were totally excited. We simply didn’t know what to expect. Azizul and his wife picked us up from our house. On the way, he got us some “chakoi” (a type of churros) and coffee. And again, we had no choice but to politely thank him. In the car, we asked him how we could best greet his family. He and his wife, of course, were highly amused when Bolle and I tried to recite the Arabic-Islamic greeting “As-Salamu alikum” fluently without stuttering or tongue twisters. Wonderful!
After a 90-minute drive, we stopped at a large wooden house. It stood secluded on the edge of the beach, along with a handful of other wooden houses. His mother, his wife’s mother, and his wife’s sister, whom we had already met in the café, were already waiting for us at the entrance. You can imagine how nervous we were? But we weren’t anymore. The warm, unpretentious welcome immediately swept away any nervousness! Fortunately, a smile means the same thing in every country!
After a brief chat in the seating area, we went to the set dining table. There were easily 10 plates full of (sometimes unknown) delicacies on the table. Rice, fish, various meat variations, salad, sauces,… There really wasn’t anything we didn’t have. But the table was only set for 5 people. When asked if the others didn’t want anything to eat, Azizul replied, “No, they cooked everything for us. Besides, they’re pretty shy and prefer to leave us alone.” What a shame, really!
Different countries, different customs
Bolle and I watched curiously as Azizul, his wife, and his sister-in-law filled their plates. Well, it wasn’t that different from ours—except for the teapot. We didn’t immediately understand why they were washing their fingers with tea. When it was our turn, we burst out laughing. It was just plain water. “Served” in a teapot, with a saucer for the used water, which we had actually assumed held the candle to keep the tea warm.
Our explanation of why we had to laugh naturally made them burst into laughter. But hey, how were we supposed to know? The food was really delicious! Despite the “no spicy” sign, it was sometimes spicy (anyone who travels in Asia knows how that is!), but thankfully it was within limits. The only thing that took some getting used to was eating with your fingers. You always eat with your right hand (important! The left hand is considered unclean), but you use your left hand to scoop more. Apparently, it was funny to watch me trying to get some meat off the fish with my totally untalented left hand.
My right hand wanted to help, but thanks to the sauce, it was completely covered in rice! In the end, though, it was worth the experience! For more practice, I should maybe eat my Padthai with my fingers next time. And so you know what it’s like, feel free to cook something delicious and leave the cutlery in the drawer. By the time you’ve had lasagna, spaghetti Bolognese, or roast beef, you’ll know what I mean by “takes some getting used to.”
Hospitality at the highest level
Together with Azizul and his wife, we made ourselves comfortable in the seating area and talked about life here, the school system, and the family. We hadn’t even finished chewing when we were served coffee and cake. Oh, the family was just so great! Afterwards, we watched a TV show about some famous cat from Malaysia. So we all sat on the living room floor right in front of the TV.
To this day, we still don’t understand why this cat was and still is so famous. But it was funny and just another cool, crazy situation. At the end, we took a photo and thanked everyone for these wonderful hours. We were absolutely thrilled by the food, the stories we were told, and the traditions that were explained to us.
Our stay in Ipoh was absolutely enriching. We haven’t experienced as much warmth and hospitality in any other country as we did in Malaysia. We are incredibly grateful for these moments and wish it were like this everywhere. But again, that feeling remains. It’s just the unsatisfying feeling of only being able to say a heartfelt thank you. We’ve invited Azizul to Berlin; perhaps we can give something back to him and his family. Because hospitality is so simple and yet so valuable!
Such an exchange with people from different countries is the most exciting thing about traveling. You get an insight into the everyday life and culture of the locals. These experiences are priceless and simply unique. We are all equal, after all, and just because someone wears a headscarf, eats with their hands, or prays several times a day doesn’t make them DIFFERENT. Yes, we are all equal! We may differ in our cultures, but at heart, we are all human beings. People who only want the best for themselves and their families. We are all human beings who think, feel, hope, love, rejoice, laugh, or cry!